I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize