I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
