I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize