Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
