WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
