I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
