you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
