Can Purell be used as lube?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
