Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
His nipple licking is glorious
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