Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
