So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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