Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
