Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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