His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
