Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
