it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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