...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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