he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
