Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize