I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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