i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
