I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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