idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
