If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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