I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
