The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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