I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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