I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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