please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
