called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
accomplished twins. life is a go
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
