You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
