Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
