She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Randomize
