he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
