Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize