can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
