I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
