he wants to bone in the snuggie
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
