I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I am one with the molecules
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
