oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
