I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
