Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
