Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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