Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
