The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
