It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
