Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
