but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
