I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize