If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
