haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
