She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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