How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
