I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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