that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
