Kiss
Puke
another moral hangover. fuck.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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