awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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