I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
