i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
