Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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