k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
