First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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