its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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