and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
